VIEW FROM THE MIDWEST: SEPTEMBER 8, 2007

Michigan: The Land of Maize and Misery

By Paul Smith / smith@collegeblitz.com

In a season where some of Michigan's oft-pampered fans are tempted to say, "Mommy, make it stop!" last Saturday was a killer sequel to the opening day upset by a I-AA team.

No. 19 Oregon 39, Michigan 7. The worst defeat to the Wolverines since the 1968 national champion Ohio State Buckeyes crushed them 50-14 to close out the regular season.

It's official now, in the space of 9 days, U-M has fallen from No. 5 in The Associated Press poll, out of the top 25 to "others receiving votes" (32nd), to entirely out of sight.

But definitely not out of their finger-pointing fans' minds.

The week before it was little-known Appalachian State, whose quarterback, Armanti Richardson, exposed the Wolverines' day-late/dollar-short defense and spliced it for 34 points in a 34-32 upset for the ages.

The only upset aspect this past Saturday was watching Oregon's Dennis Dixon do surgery on the U-M defense, which included the ultimate insult -- a second statue-of-liberty play, this one resulting in a Ducks' touchdown.

On a fake. It looked like you, Stinky Jones and Johnny Twobucks drew it up in your front lawn dirt. "I'll fake it left, loosen up the secondary, then you guys block like hell..."

The Oregon offensive line parted the middle of the Michigan defense like the Red Sea and Dixon, whose Bob Cousy-type basketball ballhandling baffled the Wolverines, could have wheelchaired it into the end zone.

The boos that flooded the Big House could be heard across the Ohio border, moving Detroit Free Press columnist Mitch Albom to intone, "The Ducks were afraid of Michigan the way the Rolling Stones are afraid of a bar band."

A bar band badly out of tune. Players snapping at each other on the sideline.

Three hundred sixty five yards' offense, ONE (1) touchdown. And Heisman hopeful, quarterback Chad Henne leaving the U-M locker room, his left leg in an immobilizer.

The four straight losses, dating back to the Ohio State regular-season closer last November, is the worst stretch of Michigan football in 40 years.

It left coach (pro tem?) Lloyd Carr in a totally unfamiliar position as he dealt first with a few irate fans as he headed down the tunnel after the game, then the media.

After venting their spleens on the players -- "You should be ashamed to wear that uniform," Ann Arbor News columnist Jim Carty heard one yell -- they started in on Carr.

"It's over, Lloyd -- It's over for you," Carty quoted one fan as yelling.

According to Carty, Carr responted with a knowing smirk that seemed to have "We'll see" written all over it.

The Wolverines' other Heisman aspirant, running back Mike Hart, guaranteed "We'll win next Saturday (against Notre Dame, also winless)." But Hart isn't likely to be at top efficiency, either, still hobbling from a painful upper quadriceps strain that clearly affected him Saturday.

Left tackle Jake Longman, the showpiece of the Wolverines' highly-touted offensive line, also limped off the field, favoring his left leg.

To Carr's credit, at least on the surface, he maintained a brave front as he tries to regroup his team for both Notre Dame and a Penn State team to follow that's sure to be bent on major retribution against its longtime tormentor.

"Maybe the game's passed me by," Carr said to Carty, poking a little fun at a local headline from earlier in the week.

Carr had responded to a elementary school pal of his granddaughter's, who was concerned about the coach's state of mind.

"I'm doing great, because I've got great kids here," he addressed the youngster, according to Carty. "You don't know me, but those who know me -- friend and foe -- I think would agree that I'm a tough-minded, competitive guy, and there isn't anything that comes my way that I can't handle professionally..."

That approach will face its sternest test in Carr's 13 mostly spectacular years in Ann Arbor.